


you check all my boxes

by lady-serendipity (JenZz)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Cats, Dating, Fairy Tale Curses, Fluff, Kinda, M/M, Online Dating, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23662723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenZz/pseuds/lady-serendipity
Summary: Lu Han has precise requirements for a significant other. In walks Minseok, who checks all of his boxes and then some.
Relationships: Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Lu Han
Comments: 12
Kudos: 51





	you check all my boxes

**Author's Note:**

> this is for one of my dearest friends' birthday. Char, I love you so much. We only met half a year ago, but you are one of the sunshines of my life in this foggy city. Let's be friends for a very long time. I hope you enjoy this >^..^< also, I actually listened to your request and there is significant cat time. Jess had me remove the sexy times though HAHA so it's strictly PG
> 
> somehow I cranked this out in three hours. this is why I was up so late Monday LOL OTL at least quarantine life means I just roll out of bed and WFH. special thanks to Jess and Joyce for beta'ing on short notice - ilu guys too

"I don't know how you do it," Chanyeol sighs, stuffing an entire egg tart into his mouth. They’re in the food court at Westfield in downtown San Francisco, and Chanyeol is being a heathen as usual at their weekly Saturday brunch. 

Lu Han wrinkles his nose at him, trying to ignore the crumbs spewing out of the sides of Chanyeol’s mouth. He pities the person who has to clean the faux marble counters. "I should be the one saying that." When Chanyeol is about to answer, Lu Han raises his hand. "Stop. Chew."

Chanyeol obediently follows suit, swallowing before continuing, "Isn't going on dates every day exhausting?"

Shrugging, Lu Han runs a hand through his freshly re-dyed pink hair. He needs more conditioner; it's feeling a little fried. "I really want to find someone. I want to fall in love." 

Chanyeol leans forward and rubs Lu Han's shoulder. This is why they’re friends; Chanyeol and Lu Han both love physical affection. "It's because of Jongdae's wedding isn't it."

Lips twisting downwards, Lu Han nods and pats Chanyeol’s hand. "They were so happy and in love. I just want to find my own Seungwan."

Their hands end up on the table between them, on some napkins Lu Han had hastily laid down. He’s found that it’s better to work with whatever Chanyeol’s doing, rather than try to resist. Chanyeol fiddles with Lu Han’s fingers, looking thoughtful. "That’s understandable. Though, I don't think Jongdae found Seungwan by having such specific requirements."

Lu Han rolls his eyes. "No, Jongdae met Seungwan in college. They moved here together, adopted the cutest two cats, and got married. I, on the other hand, am using dating apps."

"You sure you don't want me to set you up with my friend?"

Shuddering, Lu Han says, "I'm already booked for the next two weeks, that’s alright."

Chanyeol whines, "Aw, but he's got a piercing! Isn't that one of your criteria?" The remains of their food is picked up by a mall janitor. Lu Han watches them dump it in the wrong bin.

“That’s literally my only optional one. I want someone between 27 and 30, between 5 foot 8 and 6 foot, athletic, and Asian. Oh, and not bothered by my need for cuddles.” Lu Han raises their entwined hands as an example.

Huffing out a laugh, Chanyeol says, “Okay, I can see that last point. But why is everything else so specific?”

“Well, I want them to be my age and around my ideal height. Since I’m actively dancing, I’d want someone athletic, or at least fit. Muscles are a plus.” 

“And the Asian part?” Chanyeol crooks an eyebrow. “Can’t date a nice white boy?”

Lu Han rolls his eyes. “White boys are nice until you find out they have yellow fever. No thanks. Plus, it’s nice to be able to relate to someone. And literally our whole friend group plus significant others are Asian.”

Chanyeol sighs, flailing their connected arms. Lu Han snatches his hand back, trying to avoid being collateral damage. “It just seems… like you’re not going to find someone who checks all the boxes. Then what will you do?”

“Live life one egg tart at a time,” Lu Han says sagely and waves the box at Chanyeol.

Grinning, Chanyeol says, “Touche.” He jumps up. “Time for me to go. Good luck, hope you find someone today!”

They hug. “Thanks, hopefully it’ll be a good day!”

/ᐠ. ｡.ᐟ\ᵐᵉᵒʷˎˊ˗

Lu Han sighs. It’s been a day. After brunch with Chanyeol, he’d had three dates in Westfield. One dessert, one boba, and one particularly cringey dinner date.

He’s exhausted. All of them had chattered on at him, not giving him a moment to speak. Lu Han’s not sure why his profile seems to attract the chatty needy type. He might like that in his close friends, but not in a partner. It had taken two hours at the studio to dance off some of his frustration.

His clouds clear slightly when he ducks into the alleyway a few minutes from his apartment. Lu Han crouches and whistles. He prepares the meat from the takeout container, ripping it into shreds. 

After waiting for a few minutes, he’s answered by a distinct, high-pitched mew. A gorgeous black cat leaps down from the fire escape, landing delicately on all fours.

“Hello Handsome,” Lu Han rumbles and reaches a hand. Handsome sniffs it and then headbutts it, purring like a machine. “I missed you too. I love you.” 

Handsome winds his way around his legs and then meows, an irritable sound that startles Lu Han into laughing. “What? Do I smell bad today?” Lu Han scratches Handsome’s ears and Handsome seems to forgive him, nuzzling against Lu Han’s knee. “Sorry, it must be from dancing. I had to go extra long today because I met some annoying guys.”

The cat meows at him. Lu Han’s going insane, but he swears Handsome can keep a conversation up with him. “Well, they kinda just talked a lot. I dunno where all the quiet guys are. I know there’s gotta be someone out there like that. One guy even messaged me like 'Nice hair, wanna fuck?' Who even says that?” Handsome curls up in his lap and purrs as Lu Han continues to pet him. “Maybe I should just move to an apartment that allows cats so I can adopt you and live with just you forever.” 

Handsome’s purring intensifies. Lu Han sighs again. “Then again, you’re probably just someone’s outside cat, aren’t you? You always smell so nice and feel so fluffy.”

He talks to Handsome for a few more minutes. It’s always like this, Lu Han can find Handsome here after the longest of days and tell him about his boy problems. When Lu Han had first met Handsome a few months ago, he had tried to give Handsome regular cat food. Lu Han had been refused every time until he wised up and tried cooked meats. “You must be spoiled rotten,” he’d told Handsome. Handsome had lightly bit his hand, but not enough to draw blood.

Sometimes he swears Handsome understands him. 

It’s probably just easier to talk to a cat than his friends. The cat is only judging him as much as a cat judges anyone. “Handsome, do you think it’s that I jump into bed too quickly? Sometimes it’s just because I’m horny.” Handsome meows at him. “You’re right, I shouldn’t slut shame myself.” 

Lu Han’s phone rings and Handsome flies out of his lap, running away. “Goodbye,” Lu Han calls after Handsome’s shadow and picks up the phone. “You scared the love of my life away.”

_“Oh??? Did you find someone today?”_

“Nah,” Lu Han says, getting up and putting his stuff away. “I was feeding a cat. What’s up, Chanyeol?”

He drops the plastic bag in the trash can, and walks home, feeling more at peace. There’s always something satisfying about speaking with a cat.

/ᐠ. ｡.ᐟ\ᵐᵉᵒʷˎˊ˗

It’s been three weeks of non-stop dating and Lu Han is almost ready to give up. “I haveeeee... one moreee… tomorrow,” he mumbles into Chanyeol’s shoulder. They’re at the bar after work on Lu Han’s tab. Maybe not the best idea for Lu Han’s wallet, but he likes treating his friends. The world is beginning to swim in front of his eyes so he closes them.

“What’s that?” Chanyeol asks. Lu Han can hear the click as the phone turns off and the clack of the phone being set on the bar counter. Unhygienic, but Chanyeol will forget even if Lu Han says something. “One more what?”

Lu Han straightens and takes a healthy swig of water. “One more date. And five on Sunday. I don’t even know if I want to go tomorrow.” He groans. “Maybe I should cancel it. I might be hungover tomorrow.”

“Aww, Han.” Chanyeol drapes an arm over Lu Han in a side hug. Lu Han leans into it, yawning. “You’ve been trying so hard. It’ll be okay to cancel, it’s up to you.” Chanyeol laughs. "I can't believe you're this drunk on two cocktails though."

Gritting his teeth, Lu Han presses a hand to his eyes. “I'm supposed... to be an easy date. But I don't think I am. Some people just make it... look so easy.” 

“And some people,” Chanyeol says gently, pushing another glass of water towards Lu Han, “some people just have a little longer. I think though that since you’re trying so hard, it’s got to pan out. So chin up, okay? Then you can find me someone!”

Lu Han coos up at Chanyeol. “You’re so sweet. I don’t know how someone hasn’t snatched you up yet.”

“I know, right!?” Both Chanyeols grin at Lu Han. Shit, he’s really drunk. “Alright, let’s get you home.”

With Chanyeol’s help, Lu Han manages to get off the Uber at the right address. He waves at Chanyeol as the Uber drives away, and stumbles his way into his apartment.

A black cat walks away into the shadows nearby.

/ᐠ. ｡.ᐟ\ᵐᵉᵒʷˎˊ˗

“Shit shit shit,” Lu Han says, head throbbing. He hadn’t ended up cancelling his date, so he knocks back an aspirin and hurriedly gets dressed.

It’s raining. “Shit fuck,” he says, and runs back inside the apartment to grab an umbrella. A rainy day in San Francisco. Really he probably should’ve cancelled. He might even get stood up today, like he had been on Tuesday and Wednesday.

“Boy wouldn't that be great,” Lu Han mutters as he yanks on his best pair of rain-resistant sneakers. 

There’s a line outside the ramen place where Lu Han and this Minseok guy had decided to meet. Lu Han tries to not peek under too many umbrellas, looking for Minseok as discreetly as he can. 

It’s easy enough to skip the couples giggling under their umbrellas.

The line stretches for a block. This restaurant is ridiculously trendy to be pulling a queue like this. Lu Han mentally cancels it, then starts thinking about grocery shopping for the week as he continues to pass strangers.

Then his heart stops.

Minseok Kim is balancing an umbrella in the crook of his arm as he holds an iPad with one hand and a stylus with the other. There’s a tiny furrow in sharp eyebrows, cheeks that hinted at roundness once. And for some reason, in forty-degree SF rain, he’s only wearing a fitted long-sleeve and tight jeans that hug. His. Muscles. 

Oh, fuck.

When Lu Han can get himself to stop gaping like a dying fish, he rushes up to Minseok. “Hey, sorry I’m late.” He happens to notice Minseok is about his height. Oh dear.

Minseok glances up. And then he smiles. Lu Han feels himself going a little weak-kneed at the gums that show. “No worries. I got to get a little drawing in.”

“Um… what do you draw?”

Minseok’s smile widens. He tilts the screen carefully, so as to not jostle the umbrella. The digital sketch has lots of straight lines, and the longer Lu Han stares at it, the longer he thinks he can make out Snoopy. “It’s line art. I guess I don’t do enough fun drawing at work, so I need an outlet somehow.”

“Oh, what do you… sorry, where are my manners. I’m Lu Han. Do you want me to hold the umbrella for you?”

He’s answered with a wry chuckle. “If you could, that would be great.” As Minseok carefully inserts his iPad away into a sleeve, he says, “I’m a designer. At a tech company, as a typical SF person would say. Nice to meet you, Lu Han.”

They continue to stand in the queue, Lu Han holding the umbrella while chatting with Minseok. It’s interspersed with silences, Minseok preferring to think through his responses and Lu Han mirroring him. Lu Han discreetly adjusts the umbrella at some point so his arm doesn't get sore, and Minseok steps into Lu Han's personal space with a questioning glance.

It's totally okay with Lu Han, who settles his arm around Minseok's shoulders. 

When they’ve only moved a few feet in half an hour, Lu Han says, “There’s a Japanese tea garden across the street, and no line. Do you… mind going there instead?” He grimaces. “I know you’ve been waiting for a while…”

“Oh,” Minseok says, mouth in an “o” of surprise. “I was actually going to suggest that in a few. Just wasn’t sure since you were the one who suggested this place, but it looks like we’re a little out of luck today.”

“Next time,” Lu Han suggests, and Minseok wraps an arm around Lu Han's waist to steer them. Lu Han’s heart is thudding in his chest with disbelief. He had actually meant it, actually wanted to hang out again. No, focus. There’s still room for error.

As soon as they sit down, Lu Han asks his deal-breaker question. “Do you like cats?”

Minseok chuckles. “I have a cat at my parents’. His name is Tan. I have good reason to love cats.” His pretty almond-shaped eyes narrow teasingly. “Am I being tested?”

“Maybe,” Lu Han replies, just as teasing. He likes it, Minseok’s fun. He’s already thinking his friends are going to like Minseok too. Shit. “I can take any questions you have for me, too. I’ve been asking you a lot.”

Humming, Minseok drums his fingers lightly on the dark hardwood table. “So, any hobbies?”

“Oh yeah, I, um, draw cats. And other things, but I love cats.” He grins shyly when Minseok coos, demanding to see them. Pulling up his Insta, he shows Minseok the cats he’s volunteered to draw and then paint. They continue talking, pausing only to place their orders and sip at their matcha lattes. 

Lu Han’s heart is doing flips in his chest, once they've exited the tea garden. The rain has finally stopped, but it’s still chilly outside. They’ve got a few minutes before their Ubers arrive. He studies Minseok, not sure if he should say something first or—

“I had a lot of fun. Can I see you again?”

“Tomorrow?” Lu Han blurts. “I mean, I can maybe… we can like do art or something together. I’m not doing anything until the evening.” He's so going to cancel those dates if Minseok says yes.

“That sounds nice, Lu Han. We can do my place, it sounds bigger than your studio.” Lu Han had mentioned only being able to comfortably fit a twin bed and still live life in it.

“Deal,” Lu Han says. Then he leans down and closes his eyes, hoping he’s not being stupid. He hopes he’s read this right, maybe not—and then a soft pair of lips land on his.

“See you tomorrow,” Minseok says sweetly and runs to his Uber. 

Lu Han is stuck paralyzed there, hands pressed to his lips as if he could keep the memory of Minseok’s there. 

In the Uber, he squeals at the driver and the driver squeals back.

/ᐠ. ｡.ᐟ\ᵐᵉᵒʷˎˊ˗

Lu Han had thought that maybe Minseok would fit enough of his criteria. He had been ready to volunteer to make Minseok’s bed, because Minseok fucking lives near Lu Han’s studio and it’s not possible. It’s simply not possible for Minseok to be fitting all of Lu Han’s requirements like this.

He walks into an apartment straight out of the Muji catalogs he browses for fun. Minseok grabs the vacuum in the corner. “Sorry, it’s a little messy today. I only got to vacuum once.”

“Once?” Lu Han’s eyes are about to bug out of his sockets. 

“Um, yeah. I’m a little OCD, but hope you don’t mind.”

Lu Han collapses onto his butt on the nice hardwood floor. “You have no idea how turned on I am right now.”

Minseok laughs from the other side of the apartment, stowing away the vacuum cleaner before padding over to Lu Han’s side. He sits by Lu Han and gestures at Lu Han’s shoes. Lu Han scrambles to take them off, orienting them to the doorway. Minseok produces a brush to buff Lu Han’s shoes. Lu Han is almost halfway in love.

“Do I get my hello kiss?” Lu Han pouts. 

Laughing again, Minseok holds Lu Han’s waist before leaning slightly up to kiss him. This time is much less chaste, especially when Lu Han winds his fingers in Minseok’s hair and tugs. Minseok chokes out a moan that lets Lu Han kiss him more deeply. 

They break apart, gasping. “Hope that was… enough of a greeting… for you,” Minseok says, panting. His hands are still on Lu Han’s waist, rubbing little circles on them.

“I don’t mind if we do art a little later,” Lu Han says, having recovered his breath while Minseok spoke.

Chuckling, Minseok kisses him again. “I don’t mind either.”

Lu Han thinks that Minseok’s moans are art, too, in their own way.

Then for the rest of the day, they really do just do art until Lu Han has to leave for the studio. 

It's crazy how things fall into place after that. Every day, either Minseok texts him to come over or Lu Han comes over and they spend time in quiet, just drawing or listening to music together. Minseok stays close by, preferring to draw perched on a bean bag on the floor while Lu Han draws on Minseok's bed. Sometimes he wakes up after accidentally falling asleep to a blanket draped on top of him, smelling like Minseok, or even better - Minseok curling on top of him.

It’s been three weeks and Lu Han has seen Minseok every day. Minseok has even met Chanyeol, who gaped at him before remembering his manners. Who had then told their entire friend group that Lu Han actually met someone who meets his requirements. No, seriously, all of them.

He works up the courage on their three week anniversary over homemade miso ramen at Minseok’s place. “Will you go out with me?”

They’d been in the middle of eating in companionable silence, all the while playing footsie under the table. Minseok’s eyes snap up to meet Lu Han’s. His mouth opens as if to say something, but then he seems to reconsider. 

Lu Han flushes and breaks eye contact as the seconds stretch between them. He can feel his eyes starting to water, and stands up before he can do something embarrassing like cry. “Sorry, I have to go to the bath—”

“I have to tell you something,” Minseok interrupts, getting up too. He makes a small hurt noise when Lu Han turns to look at him. “Oh, I’m sorry Han, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Do you have ten girlfriends?” Lu Han warbles and Minseok brings him in for a hug.

“No, no,” Minseok’s voice is soft and soothing. “Nothing like that. I’ve only been dating you, only looking at you. That’s kinda part of the thing I need to tell you. You see… I’m Handsome.”

“Huh?” Lu Han is so confused. “I mean, yeah, you are, but what does that have to do with anything?”

Minseok grunts. “That’s not what I mean. Maybe it’ll be easier to show you.” He leads Lu Han to the bedroom and closes the curtains. 

Then he vanishes into a poof of smoke, and out steps a black cat. 

Lu Han knows this cat. He sits down hard on Minseok’s bean bag as Handsome, no, Minseok leaps onto the bed and changes back into his human form.

They stare at each other for a while before Lu Han croaks, “Can you… explain?”

Minseok nods. “There’s a curse in my family. We turn into cats if we feel a certain emotion very strongly. My sister turns into a cat if she feels extremely angry. My mother turns into a cat if she feels sad. My dad’s a regular person, so it’s easy to just tell outsiders we own a cat in case someone visits and one of us is in cat form.

“I… turn into a cat if I feel really shy. And to be honest, when I first saw you it was all I could do to run into the nearest alleyway before I transformed. You were just the most handsome man I’d ever seen, and I think I suddenly got a huge crush.

“But then you saw me in cat form, and started talking to me. At first, I couldn’t figure out if you were insane or just really liked cats. I think I figured out it was the latter eventually. 

“You started ranting about the dates you went on, and what you wanted in a man. And actually…” Minseok looks down for the first time. His next words are so quiet, Lu Han has to strain to hear them. “You gave me confidence that you might actually like me in human form too. I realized that when I was just transforming into a cat because I wanted to be with you, rather than being forced to transform out of shyness. So I found you on Hinge, and here we are.” 

There’s a silence before Lu Han says, “Wow.”

“That’s it? Wow?” Minseok says in disbelief. 

"I mean… you're still you right? You’re sweet and patient with me, you can hang out with me for hours on end being creative." Lu Han goes over to the bed and pulls Minseok down for cuddles. “I really, really like you. This doesn’t change anything. If anything, it’s a huge bonus.” He nuzzles closer. “My cute Handsome kitty.”

"Oh good, I was worried you'd ask me to manifest cat ears." Then Minseok glares at Lu Han. "The answer is I can't."

"I'm turned on by your OCD and you're scared of a potential cat fetish?" Lu Han laughs and hooks his leg around Minseok's, pulling him closer. "So, can I keep you?”

“I’m not really a cat, it’s just the curse,” Minseok grumbles, and muffles his next response into Lu Han’s shoulder. “But yes. Please keep me forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Jen strikes again with fluff!!! I hope all you non-Char peeps like this story too. Accepting kudos, comments, and constructive criticism :) thanks for reading!! and hope you are all staying safe out there. 
> 
> You can yell at me on [Tumblr](http://lady-serendipity.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ladyyserendipit) <3!


End file.
